So today, my wonderful counterpart Sherry and I headed to one of our business client's places of business to try and drum up some business. We basically went to allow people to open an account without ever stepping into the branch. I was a little nervous, frankly.
Despite the fact that I was a public address announcer for the athletic teams at my beloved Alma Mater, Southampton College (formerly run by the soulless nest of succubi known as Long Island University, now run by the Sainted Angels of Stony Brook University), I have a bit of a problem with public speaking. There's a difference between yelling incoherent sports blurbs into a microphone in a cacophonous gymnasium (Three! Guy Incognito!!!) and addressing people in a personal setting. Even people who come into the bank, whom I know are seeking my help, give me a little bit of a quease.
When it's people who I am approaching unsolicited, I get very, very nervous. I am especially nervous over the phone. FACT: I have a small sticker on my monitor that reads: "Thank you for calling Fiscal United Bank, this is your Relationship Banker speaking, how can I help you" because sometimes, I get a bit flustered, and reading it helps the delivery a bit.
I have a bit of a nervous stutter. Don't get me wrong, I don't sound like the guy from Ally McBeal or the co-counsel from My Cousin Vinny (interesting how both my stutter examples are from legal shows/movies... hmmmm... ) but I trip over my tongue. A LOT. My manager won't send me on call nights, because the one time I was scheduled, I didn't sleep the night before, knowing I would have to call people and interrupt their dinners. I despise telemarketing, and that's exactly what I was being asked to do. When she saw me walk in that day, she sent a teller instead.
So I am having mixed emotions about this "Bank at Work" thing. I fully understand the whole concept, and the benefit of performing such a service. Doesn't mean that my stomach isn't doing backflips over it.
The punchline here is that we got there and no one came to us. We stood there for about 5 minutes, and the owner of the business said "sorry, we didn't have any takers."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
It Figures...
I posted this on my work blog, The Average Joe of the Banking World:
The Bank is buying us lunch today... on the day that I am traveling to ANOTHER branch to help out. Nice kick in the pants.
The perfect end to a perfect week: Monday, I broke up with my girlfriend. Tuesday, hurt my back lifting water bottle. Wednesday, woke up with a migraine. Thursday, had every idiot in Blue Point at my desk, and still had the migraine. Today, back still hurting, migraine still raging, having not slept much over the past week, I am now going to another branch to help because they are understaffed, a situation I can relate to because we are PERPETUALLY understaffed, and I miss out on free lunch. At least the weekend...
Oh, that's right. I'm working tomorrow. JOY. :(
Does anyone know what the American-On-A-Budget version of walkabout is?
And my audience replied with...
The Bank is buying us lunch today... on the day that I am traveling to ANOTHER branch to help out. Nice kick in the pants.
The perfect end to a perfect week: Monday, I broke up with my girlfriend. Tuesday, hurt my back lifting water bottle. Wednesday, woke up with a migraine. Thursday, had every idiot in Blue Point at my desk, and still had the migraine. Today, back still hurting, migraine still raging, having not slept much over the past week, I am now going to another branch to help because they are understaffed, a situation I can relate to because we are PERPETUALLY understaffed, and I miss out on free lunch. At least the weekend...
Oh, that's right. I'm working tomorrow. JOY. :(
Does anyone know what the American-On-A-Budget version of walkabout is?
And my audience replied with...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Excitement Is Brewing
Our remodeling is only weeks away, I'm told. Very exciting stuff. We'll be getting a vestibule, doors will be moving, windows painted, carpeting redone, new counters for the tellers... Can't wait!
I'd LOVE to be part of the department that travels from branch to branch redesigning. But I think my themes and motifs wouldn't be well accepted. Abstract design doesn't seem to be something Fiscal United would be comfortable with. But can't you just see how awesome the branch would be with nine legged chairs and a melting clock that ran backwards?
I'd LOVE to be part of the department that travels from branch to branch redesigning. But I think my themes and motifs wouldn't be well accepted. Abstract design doesn't seem to be something Fiscal United would be comfortable with. But can't you just see how awesome the branch would be with nine legged chairs and a melting clock that ran backwards?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Don't Know What You've Got Until You're Mugged In The Parking Lot For It...
So we had a client (no names, of course) who has mid six figures in his savings account. He just asked the teller who was helping him to write down his balance so he could decide if he should go to McDonalds or Wendy's for dinner. On his way out, he then complained to the Assistant Manager that he couldn't afford more than Wendy's with the amount of interest our bank was paying him.
Oh, to have such problems.
He should understand that we have employees here who can't really afford to even go to Wendy's for dinner. There are some families that can't even afford to eat dinner at all. I wish I didn't value my job as much as I do, I would have told this arrogant jerk that he could feed a family of four at Wendy's for two solid years with HALF of what he had squirreled away in his account. Everyone thinks that working in a bank automatically means your finances are well in the green.
RARELY the case when it comes to the Average Joes of ther banking world. The good news is that Fiscal United Bank has decided to raise all employees to the minimum of the average of surveyed bank employees in our region. The bad news is that no one will commit to a solid date as to when that will happen beyond telling us that it will be within two years, by which time the average salary for a bank employee will likely rise just as much as they are raising us, leaving us still short of what everyone else is making.
Is it Friday yet?
Oh, to have such problems.
He should understand that we have employees here who can't really afford to even go to Wendy's for dinner. There are some families that can't even afford to eat dinner at all. I wish I didn't value my job as much as I do, I would have told this arrogant jerk that he could feed a family of four at Wendy's for two solid years with HALF of what he had squirreled away in his account. Everyone thinks that working in a bank automatically means your finances are well in the green.
RARELY the case when it comes to the Average Joes of ther banking world. The good news is that Fiscal United Bank has decided to raise all employees to the minimum of the average of surveyed bank employees in our region. The bad news is that no one will commit to a solid date as to when that will happen beyond telling us that it will be within two years, by which time the average salary for a bank employee will likely rise just as much as they are raising us, leaving us still short of what everyone else is making.
Is it Friday yet?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
OK, Enough Is Enough...
In their infinite wisdom, Fiscal United Bank has announced that now, one of our platform personnel will be required to stand by the door to greet people as they come into the branch. Meet and Greet, they call it.
Waste of Resources, I call it.
It's hard enough doing what we do, dealing with these customers who seem to appear in droves all at once. There are times when our lobby is dead empty for an hour or so. Then (more often) there are times when everyone is busy, and there are people waiting to be helped. Despite what the numbers say, this branch, like many others, is under-manned. NOW, we get to lose productivity by having one of us standing by the door doing nothing but directing traffic.
So I will now hold an imaginary press conference in which I will address the decision makers behind this move and explain why they are making a poor decision.
=====
"But it helps customers," Empty Suit #1 will explain.
"So does allowing Overdraft Protection to kick in when a client is drawing against uncollected funds, rather than generating a $35 fee," I answer, pointing to the next "informed decision maker."
"It makes clients feel welcomed," Empty Suit #2 pipes up.
"I make the clients feel welcomed already by greeting them from my desk," I answer. "Not once have I ever had a client say they didn't feel welcomed after I ask them how they're doing, even though I wasn't clogging the lobby when I did it. Next statement."
"Studies show that banks with greeters don't get robbed as much," Empty Suit #3 exposits.
"Who told you that? You didn't even read that study yourself, let alone help come to that conclusion. Stop spouting things you have no understanding of, and that will affect other peoples jobs while you glide on unaffected. You know what else helps prevent robberies? Armed guards. Bandit Barriers at the teller windows. A larger staff. Seeing as how that's not the cheapest solution, I know it's not popular. Instead, you'll be paying someone to stand in the lobby when they can be doing actual work. If no one has anything intelligent to say, this press conference is over."
=====
It's not like this will affect me anyway; I have chronic back problems that prevent me for standing for longer than more than 15 minutes at a time anyway. I'll need to burn a day going back to the doctor to get my note excusing me from this fool's errand, but it will be worth it.
Fiscal United Bank, STOP cherry picking doing what other banks are doing and explaining that we're trying to be like them. Do what matters. Make REAL attempts at safety and customer service, not just what's the easiest thing to replicate.
Waste of Resources, I call it.
It's hard enough doing what we do, dealing with these customers who seem to appear in droves all at once. There are times when our lobby is dead empty for an hour or so. Then (more often) there are times when everyone is busy, and there are people waiting to be helped. Despite what the numbers say, this branch, like many others, is under-manned. NOW, we get to lose productivity by having one of us standing by the door doing nothing but directing traffic.
So I will now hold an imaginary press conference in which I will address the decision makers behind this move and explain why they are making a poor decision.
=====
"But it helps customers," Empty Suit #1 will explain.
"So does allowing Overdraft Protection to kick in when a client is drawing against uncollected funds, rather than generating a $35 fee," I answer, pointing to the next "informed decision maker."
"It makes clients feel welcomed," Empty Suit #2 pipes up.
"I make the clients feel welcomed already by greeting them from my desk," I answer. "Not once have I ever had a client say they didn't feel welcomed after I ask them how they're doing, even though I wasn't clogging the lobby when I did it. Next statement."
"Studies show that banks with greeters don't get robbed as much," Empty Suit #3 exposits.
"Who told you that? You didn't even read that study yourself, let alone help come to that conclusion. Stop spouting things you have no understanding of, and that will affect other peoples jobs while you glide on unaffected. You know what else helps prevent robberies? Armed guards. Bandit Barriers at the teller windows. A larger staff. Seeing as how that's not the cheapest solution, I know it's not popular. Instead, you'll be paying someone to stand in the lobby when they can be doing actual work. If no one has anything intelligent to say, this press conference is over."
=====
It's not like this will affect me anyway; I have chronic back problems that prevent me for standing for longer than more than 15 minutes at a time anyway. I'll need to burn a day going back to the doctor to get my note excusing me from this fool's errand, but it will be worth it.
Fiscal United Bank, STOP cherry picking doing what other banks are doing and explaining that we're trying to be like them. Do what matters. Make REAL attempts at safety and customer service, not just what's the easiest thing to replicate.
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