Greetings, denizens of yesteryear! I have traveled back from 21 days in the fantastic future to give you a glimpse of your destiny! I went into a branch and listened to customer feedback concerning your new You Save Checking product. Here's how it went down:
==========
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "So if you're interested, let's just get a retinal scan,* and we can start opening the You Save Checking account."
*(By the way, not to give up too much, but there are BIG changes coming in the next week or so, people. BIG.)
Futuristic Customer: "Before we do that, let me get this straight: I spend $4.33, and you will take .25 from my checking and move it over to my savings?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Indeed."
Futuristic Customer: "So my account will be charged $4.58, and .25 of my money will be put into my savings."
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Correct."
Futuristic Customer: "That sounds confusing. Don't other companies usually just round up to the nearest dollar?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Affirmative."
Futuristic Customer: "But you don't do that, it's just .25 every time?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Yes."
Futuristic Customer: "So what if that .25 will overdraw my account?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Then no transfers will happen that day."
Futuristic Customer: "None? They get done all at once? So even if I did 100 debit card purchases, if that 100th purchase would move .25 out of my account and cause an overdraft, then the first 99 transfers don't happen?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "They do not."
Futuristic Customer: "Then what's the... agh, never mind. (shakes head) So, the bank will match my transfers, right?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Yes, 100%."
Futuristic Customer: "That's awe-"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "For the first four months."
Futuristic Customer: "Oh, well, that's-"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "If it's a new account. If you convert your existing account, it's 10%."
Futuristic Customer: "New account? But I already-"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "And only up to 10 Bill Pays."
Futuristic Customer: "Alright, I get it, I get it! Still, the fact that you will match my transfers, and help me save towards the future, that's fantastic. Sign me up for a new account! This will serve as a great compliment to my Incredible Incentive Checking."
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Clients can only have one premium account type each."
Futuristic Customer: "So I have to open a new account, a new number to memorize, to get the maximum benefits, but my existing account then loses it's ability to generate it's own benefits?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "You can convert an existing account."
Futuristic Customer: "But I lose 90% on my transfer matches for the first four months."
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "And you forfeit any incentive points already earned."
Futuristic Customer: "Forfeit- O.K., so converting the account is not going to happen. And if I open a new account, I have to cancel my Incentive Checking anyway."
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "Aye."*
*(In the future, we're prohibited from answering questions with the same answer more than once. Otherwise, it might appear impersonal.)
Futuristic Customer: "Is there any way I can keep my Incentives AND open a You Save account?"
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "You can have your wife open up the You Save account with her as the primary account holder."
Futuristic Customer: "I'm not married."
Relationship Banker of Tomorrow: "How soon can you remedy that?"
Futuristic Customer: (shakes head) "Is there a Bank of Amexicanada* around here?"
*(BIG changes.)
=========
So you see, citizens of August 11th, 2009, the future is a fantastic place, full of mystery and wonder! Be ever vigilant, and keep your eyes to the skies!
This message brought to you by Fiscal United Bank, N.A., a division of Pepsi-Cola.*
*(BIIIIIG changes.)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Sale-ing... (Takes Me Away To Where I've Always Heard It Could)
Pardon the Chris Cross paraphrase (as opposed to Kris Kross (their music makes me wanna... Jump, Jump (off a building))) but sales are on my mind lately. We're closing in on the finish or our sales incentive drive. We need four more accounts to reach our goal, at which point we will receive $500 cold, hard cash. NICE.
I like money. That's not the reason I work for a bank (that story will be coming soon to a theatre near you: "Escape from Retail Shoe Sales!"). I just really like having money, it makes it much easier to get stuff.
I'm starting to get used to this GAIN stuff they're going to teach us. The hardest part is small talk. I can't just instantly pick a topic (they've told us to stop using the "how about this weather?" crutch) and run with it. My instinct is to just get to the point and ask "how can I help you today?" And I'm not getting much chance to practice small talk, because most fo the clients I've helped this week have led with "I need to open a checking account." When they jump right in, wouldn't it be best to go with it rather than try to divert them back to small talk?
So it's raining again, and I'm starting to think this entire summer will be a waste. We haven't had consistently nice weather yet this summer. What's with all the rain? I remember there being entire summers where it was nice and pleasant. Now, I can't remember three days in a row without some sort of inclement weather. And I'm getting a little bitter about it. It's part of the reason my former girlfriend is leaving the state (I feel funny calling her an ex when we're still friends).
After realizing I may have set a record for use of parenthesis in a single blog post (I mean, seriously) I think it's time to do some work. Hoping to get four more accounts today, as much as that will be a LOT of work, so we can stop worrying and start planning on how to spend our $500 (my money is going towards new tires for the Jeep).
Have a great day, fellow Fiscal Uniters!
I like money. That's not the reason I work for a bank (that story will be coming soon to a theatre near you: "Escape from Retail Shoe Sales!"). I just really like having money, it makes it much easier to get stuff.
I'm starting to get used to this GAIN stuff they're going to teach us. The hardest part is small talk. I can't just instantly pick a topic (they've told us to stop using the "how about this weather?" crutch) and run with it. My instinct is to just get to the point and ask "how can I help you today?" And I'm not getting much chance to practice small talk, because most fo the clients I've helped this week have led with "I need to open a checking account." When they jump right in, wouldn't it be best to go with it rather than try to divert them back to small talk?
So it's raining again, and I'm starting to think this entire summer will be a waste. We haven't had consistently nice weather yet this summer. What's with all the rain? I remember there being entire summers where it was nice and pleasant. Now, I can't remember three days in a row without some sort of inclement weather. And I'm getting a little bitter about it. It's part of the reason my former girlfriend is leaving the state (I feel funny calling her an ex when we're still friends).
After realizing I may have set a record for use of parenthesis in a single blog post (I mean, seriously) I think it's time to do some work. Hoping to get four more accounts today, as much as that will be a LOT of work, so we can stop worrying and start planning on how to spend our $500 (my money is going towards new tires for the Jeep).
Have a great day, fellow Fiscal Uniters!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Nerd Humor
My favorite nerd joke: There are 10 types of people in the world... the ones who understand binary, and the ones who don't.
Co-worker submissions:
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25. (I think hexadecimal comes into play here, or something.)
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium
What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
Co-worker submissions:
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25. (I think hexadecimal comes into play here, or something.)
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium
What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Here We Go A-G.A.I.N.
So yesterday I went to the big top secret G.A.I.N. (Greet, Assess, Inform, Next Steps) training. I say top secret because every time I asked someone higher up about the training, they would only tell me "I can't tell you anything about it" (as if it was KFC's secret recipe or something).
Well, I'M gonna tell you about it.
Our trainers were nice, if a bit too over-energetic. Basically, the training enforces behaviors many of us are currently engaged in, like shaking hands, greeting the client with our name and getting theirs, assessing client needs and explaining products. But it shifts the focus onto the client and their needs, and will not be so product driven. We're being transitioned into almost sort of a financial counsellor role, rather than pushing the "hot product," which is a change I am excited about. I hate having a client come to me about savings and ending up trying to sell them Incentive Checking account because if I don't I might not make my incentives (more on that another day). Now, we're going to be encouraged to analyze our client's needs and recommend the right product, which technically, we have always done, but the focus is more on the client rather than the product.
There are some parts of the new methodology I am not thrilled about. We're being "strongly encouraged" (I won't say "forced") to continue to engage in lengthy small talk before recommending products to probe for information, walk the client to the door, and then continue our computer wrap up before helping the next client. I think a few of our more impatient clients will take issue with some of that, but part of the training is also for us to "retrain" our customers to expect that kind of personalized care every time. I understand all of this.
Seems like Fiscal United Bank is trying to make everything very formulaic in an effort to make things more personal. Hey, whatever's clever. I think that all the INTENTIONS behind the new processes are solid. Just seems like Fiscal United is taking out any wiggle room for personal style that we may have to our job.
Most of my clients love me. I have build great client relationships doing what I do, and it never involved forcing "small talk with a purpose," ignoring my computer for the first 70% of the customer interaction, or taking my time walking people to the door rather than helping the next client. I'll do what's necessary to toe the line, but I can't see how this forced approach is going to help my clients more than me being genuine with them.
But back to the training. It seemed to me like the biggest gaff came when they asked us what we were happy about and what we were concerned about with the new methodology. Most (if not all) of the people in our group expressed concerns about walking clients to the door, especially while other clients were waiting in the lobby. I was one of the more vocal detractors of this practice for a variety of reasons. It seemed to me that the trainers were trying to assuage my hesitancies (and those of my fellow classmates) in one sentence explanations, and then asking if I was OK after each sentence. After a few minutes of that not working, one of the senior trainers rather brusquely stated that we were spending an inordinate amount of time on the subject and wanted to know what the real issue was. I explained that I was willing to drop it and move on for the sake of expediency, but that I remained unconvinced of the necessity of such a step.
Don't get me wrong, if it wasn't for my back being a trainwreck, I'd be walking them out to the parking lot if it was what's required. As it is, I have a medical exception excusing me from any standing, so I'll need to work that much harder to make them feel at home without walking them to the door, but I am up to that challenge (I feel pretty successful at that as it is). But that doesn't mean I don't find the practice questionable. They asked if we had concerns, not if we were going to committ mutiny. I felt like I was being asked for my opinion, being told I was wrong, and then asked for my opinion again, and being made to feel like I was a bother when I gave the same opinion. I'm sure that's not what her intention was, but I felt like she was invalidating my opinion.
I think the training will lead us towards being a better bank as a whole, but so long as Fiscal United Bank is locking us rigidly into a scripted approach with no room for improvisation or personalization, it'll be a rough, jerky, awkward ride.
Well, I'M gonna tell you about it.
Our trainers were nice, if a bit too over-energetic. Basically, the training enforces behaviors many of us are currently engaged in, like shaking hands, greeting the client with our name and getting theirs, assessing client needs and explaining products. But it shifts the focus onto the client and their needs, and will not be so product driven. We're being transitioned into almost sort of a financial counsellor role, rather than pushing the "hot product," which is a change I am excited about. I hate having a client come to me about savings and ending up trying to sell them Incentive Checking account because if I don't I might not make my incentives (more on that another day). Now, we're going to be encouraged to analyze our client's needs and recommend the right product, which technically, we have always done, but the focus is more on the client rather than the product.
There are some parts of the new methodology I am not thrilled about. We're being "strongly encouraged" (I won't say "forced") to continue to engage in lengthy small talk before recommending products to probe for information, walk the client to the door, and then continue our computer wrap up before helping the next client. I think a few of our more impatient clients will take issue with some of that, but part of the training is also for us to "retrain" our customers to expect that kind of personalized care every time. I understand all of this.
Seems like Fiscal United Bank is trying to make everything very formulaic in an effort to make things more personal. Hey, whatever's clever. I think that all the INTENTIONS behind the new processes are solid. Just seems like Fiscal United is taking out any wiggle room for personal style that we may have to our job.
Most of my clients love me. I have build great client relationships doing what I do, and it never involved forcing "small talk with a purpose," ignoring my computer for the first 70% of the customer interaction, or taking my time walking people to the door rather than helping the next client. I'll do what's necessary to toe the line, but I can't see how this forced approach is going to help my clients more than me being genuine with them.
But back to the training. It seemed to me like the biggest gaff came when they asked us what we were happy about and what we were concerned about with the new methodology. Most (if not all) of the people in our group expressed concerns about walking clients to the door, especially while other clients were waiting in the lobby. I was one of the more vocal detractors of this practice for a variety of reasons. It seemed to me that the trainers were trying to assuage my hesitancies (and those of my fellow classmates) in one sentence explanations, and then asking if I was OK after each sentence. After a few minutes of that not working, one of the senior trainers rather brusquely stated that we were spending an inordinate amount of time on the subject and wanted to know what the real issue was. I explained that I was willing to drop it and move on for the sake of expediency, but that I remained unconvinced of the necessity of such a step.
Don't get me wrong, if it wasn't for my back being a trainwreck, I'd be walking them out to the parking lot if it was what's required. As it is, I have a medical exception excusing me from any standing, so I'll need to work that much harder to make them feel at home without walking them to the door, but I am up to that challenge (I feel pretty successful at that as it is). But that doesn't mean I don't find the practice questionable. They asked if we had concerns, not if we were going to committ mutiny. I felt like I was being asked for my opinion, being told I was wrong, and then asked for my opinion again, and being made to feel like I was a bother when I gave the same opinion. I'm sure that's not what her intention was, but I felt like she was invalidating my opinion.
I think the training will lead us towards being a better bank as a whole, but so long as Fiscal United Bank is locking us rigidly into a scripted approach with no room for improvisation or personalization, it'll be a rough, jerky, awkward ride.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
At Work At The Bank At Work... At The Bank... At Work?
So today, my wonderful counterpart Sherry and I headed to one of our business client's places of business to try and drum up some business. We basically went to allow people to open an account without ever stepping into the branch. I was a little nervous, frankly.
Despite the fact that I was a public address announcer for the athletic teams at my beloved Alma Mater, Southampton College (formerly run by the soulless nest of succubi known as Long Island University, now run by the Sainted Angels of Stony Brook University), I have a bit of a problem with public speaking. There's a difference between yelling incoherent sports blurbs into a microphone in a cacophonous gymnasium (Three! Guy Incognito!!!) and addressing people in a personal setting. Even people who come into the bank, whom I know are seeking my help, give me a little bit of a quease.
When it's people who I am approaching unsolicited, I get very, very nervous. I am especially nervous over the phone. FACT: I have a small sticker on my monitor that reads: "Thank you for calling Fiscal United Bank, this is your Relationship Banker speaking, how can I help you" because sometimes, I get a bit flustered, and reading it helps the delivery a bit.
I have a bit of a nervous stutter. Don't get me wrong, I don't sound like the guy from Ally McBeal or the co-counsel from My Cousin Vinny (interesting how both my stutter examples are from legal shows/movies... hmmmm... ) but I trip over my tongue. A LOT. My manager won't send me on call nights, because the one time I was scheduled, I didn't sleep the night before, knowing I would have to call people and interrupt their dinners. I despise telemarketing, and that's exactly what I was being asked to do. When she saw me walk in that day, she sent a teller instead.
So I am having mixed emotions about this "Bank at Work" thing. I fully understand the whole concept, and the benefit of performing such a service. Doesn't mean that my stomach isn't doing backflips over it.
The punchline here is that we got there and no one came to us. We stood there for about 5 minutes, and the owner of the business said "sorry, we didn't have any takers."
Despite the fact that I was a public address announcer for the athletic teams at my beloved Alma Mater, Southampton College (formerly run by the soulless nest of succubi known as Long Island University, now run by the Sainted Angels of Stony Brook University), I have a bit of a problem with public speaking. There's a difference between yelling incoherent sports blurbs into a microphone in a cacophonous gymnasium (Three! Guy Incognito!!!) and addressing people in a personal setting. Even people who come into the bank, whom I know are seeking my help, give me a little bit of a quease.
When it's people who I am approaching unsolicited, I get very, very nervous. I am especially nervous over the phone. FACT: I have a small sticker on my monitor that reads: "Thank you for calling Fiscal United Bank, this is your Relationship Banker speaking, how can I help you" because sometimes, I get a bit flustered, and reading it helps the delivery a bit.
I have a bit of a nervous stutter. Don't get me wrong, I don't sound like the guy from Ally McBeal or the co-counsel from My Cousin Vinny (interesting how both my stutter examples are from legal shows/movies... hmmmm... ) but I trip over my tongue. A LOT. My manager won't send me on call nights, because the one time I was scheduled, I didn't sleep the night before, knowing I would have to call people and interrupt their dinners. I despise telemarketing, and that's exactly what I was being asked to do. When she saw me walk in that day, she sent a teller instead.
So I am having mixed emotions about this "Bank at Work" thing. I fully understand the whole concept, and the benefit of performing such a service. Doesn't mean that my stomach isn't doing backflips over it.
The punchline here is that we got there and no one came to us. We stood there for about 5 minutes, and the owner of the business said "sorry, we didn't have any takers."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)