Fiscal United Bank, seeing how truly visionary and awesome my thought processes are, has adopted my policy. On September 2, 2008, at 1:45 P.M., I celebrated Client Appreciation Minute. Anyone who was at my desk at that time was eligible for a free giveaway. No one showed. But the higher ups must have sensed the potential, because they took my idea and multiplied it by 7,200! We are in minute number 4,935 of our Client Appreciation 7,200 Minutes (referred to in some circles as "Client Appreciation Week") and the giveaways are hot and heavy! We have Baby Ruths! We have Snickers! We have 3 Musketeers! We have mini Reeses! We have M & M s! We have Whoppers! We have- wait, what?
Whoppers? Who eats these? They taste awful! I heard they are used as an alternative to waterboarding by the C.I.A. They are disgusting.
Anyway, it's a good thing that this week falls on Halloween, because pretty much all we're doing is giving away candy. We did that every Friday in August. They're taking my idea and dragging it through the mud with their poorly conceived give aways!
I went to school for Fine Arts. I'm an accomplished sketch artist, painter, photographer, writer, and designer. I'm gruff, rough, and kinda tough. So how the HELL did I end up working at Fiscal United Bank? The following stories are all true accounts of the day to day insanity that I have encountered as a representative of Fiscal United Bank. Only the names and minor details have been changed to protect... well, to protect me from litigation, frankly.
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