Saturday, December 30, 2006


You have got to be shitting me.

Dateline: December 30, 2006

Long Island - Tommy (my dear brother and partner in crime) is in my passenger seat as we prepare to leave WalMart in Riverhead. We sit, first in line at the light, waiting for it to change. As the Westbound turn lane signal goes red, a truck tries to squeeze through, at which point it is struck by an east bound car. The back of the truck gets spun around into the front of my poor, dear Gretchen (my Jetta). Airbags deploy, and my brother emerges from his second accident in 78 hours. This time, it is I who was immobilized by emergency responders. A few hours later, I leave the hospital with a bruised sternum, a sore back, aches, and a very grateful family.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Vehicular Vehicle-Slaughter

My bro's car. We went to the lot today to clean it out. He is lucky to be alive.

I also went to the doctor's office today, got my note clearing me to go back to work. Starting on Friday, life goes back to normal.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Crash (Not The Market, Don't Panic)

My life doesn't want to let me get into any kind of comfortable rhythm. I received a call from my uncle Bill.

In this call, he told me not to be alarmed, but that my brother Tommy had been in a car accident, his car had been run off the road by a truck, had flipped and rolled, and came to a rest upside down, and that Tommy had emerged from the car with only minor cuts and bruises. The kicker? It happened less than two miles from my branch.

OK, Sarah, what's God trying to tell me now?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Never Ask "What Next," Because Invariably, Some Smart Ass Deity Is Gonna Show You

So, apparently, I'm NOT back to work. When my boss saw me at work today, she asked "what are you doing back?" I told her I was all better. But apparently, what I didn't know, is that the doctor who put me on disability had to clear me to return. So I went home early, and made an appointment to see the doc. I should have the note by tomorrow. Then maybe, JUST MAYBE, I can get back to living my life!

Back In Black (Suit)

I am back to work as of today. The past three months have been pretty tough for me, between the death of my father, contracting some strange fatigue disease, and regular visits to my shrink, Dr. Milano (and no, her first name is not Cookie). But I am feeling a little better, a little more rested. It's tough waking up in the mornings with the effects of the sleeping pills still working on me, but I only work 30 seconds from my house, so I make due.

I am eager to get back to some semblance of normalcy, so I can show my boss what I'm like when the world isn't crushing me down into scrap.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Parvo. Exhaustion. Stress. Depression. I cashed a check, and then gave the client the check back. Thank GOD we have honest clients, she said "I think you're supposed to keep this."

I told my bosses about my stress, my insomnia, my exhaustion. I've made mistakes, and I am afraid I am going to make more. I am out on disability. I've been out of work since Monday, because a tired and unfocused banker is a mistake making banker. My cocktail of vitamins, sleeping pills and Aleve continues to bear limited fruit.

Now I have to see a shrink.
I really feel like I'm starting to lose it.

Sarah, the cute barista, has been so sweet to me. She is a Jehovah's witness, and she has been trying to keep me sane, reminding me to have faith. I envy her ability to believe. I wish I had something to believe in.