Thursday, July 2, 2009

OK, Enough Is Enough...

In their infinite wisdom, Fiscal United Bank has announced that now, one of our platform personnel will be required to stand by the door to greet people as they come into the branch. Meet and Greet, they call it.

Waste of Resources, I call it.

It's hard enough doing what we do, dealing with these customers who seem to appear in droves all at once. There are times when our lobby is dead empty for an hour or so. Then (more often) there are times when everyone is busy, and there are people waiting to be helped. Despite what the numbers say, this branch, like many others, is under-manned. NOW, we get to lose productivity by having one of us standing by the door doing nothing but directing traffic.

So I will now hold an imaginary press conference in which I will address the decision makers behind this move and explain why they are making a poor decision.


"But it helps customers," Empty Suit #1 will explain.

"So does allowing Overdraft Protection to kick in when a client is drawing against uncollected funds, rather than generating a $35 fee," I answer, pointing to the next "informed decision maker."

"It makes clients feel welcomed," Empty Suit #2 pipes up.

"I make the clients feel welcomed already by greeting them from my desk," I answer. "Not once have I ever had a client say they didn't feel welcomed after I ask them how they're doing, even though I wasn't clogging the lobby when I did it. Next statement."

"Studies show that banks with greeters don't get robbed as much," Empty Suit #3 exposits.

"Who told you that? You didn't even read that study yourself, let alone help come to that conclusion. Stop spouting things you have no understanding of, and that will affect other peoples jobs while you glide on unaffected. You know what else helps prevent robberies? Armed guards. Bandit Barriers at the teller windows. A larger staff. Seeing as how that's not the cheapest solution, I know it's not popular. Instead, you'll be paying someone to stand in the lobby when they can be doing actual work. If no one has anything intelligent to say, this press conference is over."


It's not like this will affect me anyway; I have chronic back problems that prevent me for standing for longer than more than 15 minutes at a time anyway. I'll need to burn a day going back to the doctor to get my note excusing me from this fool's errand, but it will be worth it.

Fiscal United Bank, STOP cherry picking doing what other banks are doing and explaining that we're trying to be like them. Do what matters. Make REAL attempts at safety and customer service, not just what's the easiest thing to replicate.


  1. Irene Porazzi8:09:00 PM

    I am soooo with you!!!! At last someone speaks. I am totally enjoying your blogs.
    You made my friday.

  2. Danny S. Grateman8:09:00 PM

    Kudos to you for speaking for all of us! I worked for Wells Fargo for 7 years and they did the same thing. Only there, it was called "Stage Directing". It was a complete and utter waste of time. Fortunately for me, I have ADHD and cant stand still, therefore all the ladies I work with dont even bother asking me to greet. I completely agree with you. whole heartedly. Listen to this guy, upper management!

  3. Meri Coast8:10:00 PM

    I am with you!!!! all the way!!! I agree Citibank Overseas had a greeter and I had to man the greeter and it was a greeter station no less. I was there like a prop on a tv show. that said" Exit Stage left" LOLOLOLOL they have one at FFB too. We try to man it as much as possible but sadly clients do not want to talk to the person there they want to be lead to a desk.

    It is a waste of time and effort of a person. I think that that time shuld be spent on other activities.

    And as for security armaed guardsoffer the best defense!!